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| Don't waste your sperm, sell it! |
How To: Sell Your Body For Cash
Before you consider selling your body (or, to be more specific, your sperm) for cash, consider this piece of news: One anonymous sperm donor's donations have led to 150 kids (and counting) who have found each other through social networking. Now, we're not saying this guy has a responsibility to his 150 kids, but just the thought of that is enough to give any cash-strapped guy pause as he makes his way into the bathroom with a magazine and an empty container.
In literature, men foolishly sell parts of themselves they can't afford. Goethe's Faust sells his soul for the same thing Wagner's Wotan gives up his eye for, which is the same prize for which Adam surrenders his innocence: knowledge. Self-destruction is the inevitable result. Damn, omniscience is costly!
Why sell something unrecoverable of yours in exchange for silly abstractions when your body already produces a host of renewable cash cows? Truth is, the modern man has various ways to prostitute his body and its resources, and most of them won't leave you feeling desperate for a fix and a shower.
Being a sperm donor takes two basic male desires -- orgasms and money -- and, in a seemingly "too good to be true" moment, combines them. That said, sperm banks hold to exceptionally high standards: The extensive, multilayered screening process eliminates about 95% of us.
To begin, you typically have to be between 18 and 35 years old, and in solid health. Then, prepare to expose your family tree to a thorough, honest dissection, going back two generations. You'll be asked about tattoos, drug use, experimental sex, your grandma's TB, your uncle's alcoholism, and your mother's schizoid episodes.
If invited in, you'll be given a sterile cup and offered "aides" in the form of movies or magazines, or both; just don't count on a hand job from the hottie at the front desk. You'll be instructed not to use a lubricant, as it can contaminate the "specimen" (or load, or wad, whichever you care to call it). Your boys will then be tested for everything from the obvious (sperm count) to the unexpected (forward momentum), and that's just for starters.
If accepted as a donor, you'll earn between $50 to $200 per specimen. You'll be expected to rub one out into their cups two to three times per week and make a commitment to the program that lasts six months or longer depending on the policies of the clinic. Because they need a consistently potent specimen, you'll have to abstain from having an orgasm anywhere but at the clinic; and yes, they'll know if you're cheating on them.
Sperm banks can be found in almost every major city, but because of discretion, they aren't always easy to locate. You can try a Yellow Pages search for "sperm banks" or "cryobanks" in your area, or there are websites such as SpermBanker.com that operate as information clearing houses.
Whole blood can be donated every 56 days. Considering the overwhelming need for blood around the world, it's unfortunate that only about 5% of healthy donors actually give. The largest blood collection association in the world, the Red Cross, doesn't pay for blood because they've found that altruistic donors are also the safest ones. However, this doesn't mean your blood isn't lucrative.
Plasma is the liquid portion of your blood that furnishes it with the right proteins for clotting and is used to help hemophiliacs, among other patients. It is the most commonly purchased portion of your blood.
Once you hook up with a collection center, you'll go in for an initial screening. Don't worry, the screening process won't be nearly as intrusive as the ones you'll find at sperm banks.
The process to remove your plasma is known as apheresis selective blood donation. One needle goes in each arm; your blood then passes through a sterile separator, removes the plasma, and returns the rest to your body via the other arm. It takes about 90 minutes, and the staff will typically provide you with a diversion such as a movie to watch. At most, you can sell your plasma every 48 hours. It's this process of returning your plasma-free blood to your body that allows for such frequent return visits.
You'll earn around $35 per visit; generally it starts on the low end and goes up as you become a regular.
There are literally hundreds of for-profit plasma collection centers across North America. Check the Yellow Pages under "blood" or "blood centers" and give whomever you find a call; if they aren't buying, they'll know who is.
Another less profitable component of your blood is your platelets; little cell fragments that clot your blood when you've got an open wound. Cancer and transplant patients, to name a few, need your platelets to survive.
The entire process is nearly identical to selling your plasma: An initial screening is followed by the double-needle apheresis which, again, takes from 90 minutes to two hours. You could stand to earn as much as $50 per visit, but you can only go 24 times per year, or about every two weeks.
As with plasma, platelet collection centers abound, so follow the simple instructions under plasma.
Modern-day Samsons out there, take note: Your long, flowing locks are worth money. You may need a good 10 inches of it, but the better the condition -- meaning if you don't smoke and you take decent care of it -- the more you stand to earn.
The approximate going rate is $5 to $10 per ounce, but some people are selling their hair for $400 or more. You can sell it on eBay, post it on HairSite.com or call your local wig or toupee makers.
Trials for a multitude of drugs go on all the time, and they can be extremely profitable. We urge you to think it over -- check into CenterWatch.com, a reputable internet clearing house for such trials.
In North America, it's illegal to sell a kidney. This isn't to say people haven't tried; someone tried to hawk their kidney on eBay, only to have it pulled by the site -- but not before the price reached epic heights. There's good reason for this. At this moment, at least a million people worldwide need a kidney, and quickly.
In some other areas of the world you can sell a kidney, but it's typically legal only in nations where you may not want to go under the knife in the first place. In addition, statistics show that the huge majority of kidney peddlers regret it. Still, when you stand to earn anywhere from $5,000 to $25,000 for surrendering one of these, it isn't hard to see why people do it.
You've always known you had a way with the ladies. Now's your chance to prove it: go gigolo.
Minus finding a street pimp -- an option that I won't dignify -- you have two choices: Join an escort service or become an independent contractor. Naturally, the latter is more difficult; you may have to advertise, make subtle and discreet business cards (no, we're not kidding), cruise the hotel bars and peddle your bad self to lonely ladies. For real-life (or as real as it can get) check out Hung -- it's very inspirational.
Whether they say so or not, escort services often operate on the fringes of legality, and this has everything to do with the sexual aspect. It's no different for the independent contractor; it's all cool and legit until you accept money for sex.
Otherwise, you'll be expected to be nothing short of a modern-day Renaissance man. You'll need to converse on art and architecture, speak a couple of languages, follow current events, and know what women are really like and what they want better than any other man you know. Unlike a female prostitute -- and we have to make the comparison here -- sex is not a foregone conclusion. More often than not your role is as eye candy, a companion and brilliant conversationalist. And anyway, let's face facts: Sex may be the last thing on your wish list when you consider the potential clientele -- these women are not always supermodels.
Depending on your skills and your reputation, one night as a gigolo can net you a wide range of fees, from a couple hundred dollars into the thousands. Check your Yellow Pages under "Escorts" or go solo and see what the competition is up to on Gigolo.com.
We are former platelet whores, ex-radioactive isotope guinea pigs and a two-time sperm donor rejects, none of which we regret. However, in college we went in for a pharmaceutical trial meant to last four hours, and 15 minutes after ingesting the drug, we all began foaming at the mouth. Following a short physical, we were sent home with $150. Earning $10 per minute sounds great, but foaming at the mouth is a bit like pissing your pants on your face.
The point? You don't need the purest of motives to sell your body for cash, but every so often, they might help.
In literature, men foolishly sell parts of themselves they can't afford. Goethe's Faust sells his soul for the same thing Wagner's Wotan gives up his eye for, which is the same prize for which Adam surrenders his innocence: knowledge. Self-destruction is the inevitable result. Damn, omniscience is costly!
Why sell something unrecoverable of yours in exchange for silly abstractions when your body already produces a host of renewable cash cows? Truth is, the modern man has various ways to prostitute his body and its resources, and most of them won't leave you feeling desperate for a fix and a shower.
Sperm
To begin, you typically have to be between 18 and 35 years old, and in solid health. Then, prepare to expose your family tree to a thorough, honest dissection, going back two generations. You'll be asked about tattoos, drug use, experimental sex, your grandma's TB, your uncle's alcoholism, and your mother's schizoid episodes.
If invited in, you'll be given a sterile cup and offered "aides" in the form of movies or magazines, or both; just don't count on a hand job from the hottie at the front desk. You'll be instructed not to use a lubricant, as it can contaminate the "specimen" (or load, or wad, whichever you care to call it). Your boys will then be tested for everything from the obvious (sperm count) to the unexpected (forward momentum), and that's just for starters.
If accepted as a donor, you'll earn between $50 to $200 per specimen. You'll be expected to rub one out into their cups two to three times per week and make a commitment to the program that lasts six months or longer depending on the policies of the clinic. Because they need a consistently potent specimen, you'll have to abstain from having an orgasm anywhere but at the clinic; and yes, they'll know if you're cheating on them.
Sperm banks can be found in almost every major city, but because of discretion, they aren't always easy to locate. You can try a Yellow Pages search for "sperm banks" or "cryobanks" in your area, or there are websites such as SpermBanker.com that operate as information clearing houses.
Blood
Plasma
Once you hook up with a collection center, you'll go in for an initial screening. Don't worry, the screening process won't be nearly as intrusive as the ones you'll find at sperm banks.
The process to remove your plasma is known as apheresis selective blood donation. One needle goes in each arm; your blood then passes through a sterile separator, removes the plasma, and returns the rest to your body via the other arm. It takes about 90 minutes, and the staff will typically provide you with a diversion such as a movie to watch. At most, you can sell your plasma every 48 hours. It's this process of returning your plasma-free blood to your body that allows for such frequent return visits.
You'll earn around $35 per visit; generally it starts on the low end and goes up as you become a regular.
There are literally hundreds of for-profit plasma collection centers across North America. Check the Yellow Pages under "blood" or "blood centers" and give whomever you find a call; if they aren't buying, they'll know who is.
Platelets
The entire process is nearly identical to selling your plasma: An initial screening is followed by the double-needle apheresis which, again, takes from 90 minutes to two hours. You could stand to earn as much as $50 per visit, but you can only go 24 times per year, or about every two weeks.
As with plasma, platelet collection centers abound, so follow the simple instructions under plasma.
Hair
The approximate going rate is $5 to $10 per ounce, but some people are selling their hair for $400 or more. You can sell it on eBay, post it on HairSite.com or call your local wig or toupee makers.
Clinical trials
Kidneys
In some other areas of the world you can sell a kidney, but it's typically legal only in nations where you may not want to go under the knife in the first place. In addition, statistics show that the huge majority of kidney peddlers regret it. Still, when you stand to earn anywhere from $5,000 to $25,000 for surrendering one of these, it isn't hard to see why people do it.
Going gigolo
Minus finding a street pimp -- an option that I won't dignify -- you have two choices: Join an escort service or become an independent contractor. Naturally, the latter is more difficult; you may have to advertise, make subtle and discreet business cards (no, we're not kidding), cruise the hotel bars and peddle your bad self to lonely ladies. For real-life (or as real as it can get) check out Hung -- it's very inspirational.
Whether they say so or not, escort services often operate on the fringes of legality, and this has everything to do with the sexual aspect. It's no different for the independent contractor; it's all cool and legit until you accept money for sex.
Otherwise, you'll be expected to be nothing short of a modern-day Renaissance man. You'll need to converse on art and architecture, speak a couple of languages, follow current events, and know what women are really like and what they want better than any other man you know. Unlike a female prostitute -- and we have to make the comparison here -- sex is not a foregone conclusion. More often than not your role is as eye candy, a companion and brilliant conversationalist. And anyway, let's face facts: Sex may be the last thing on your wish list when you consider the potential clientele -- these women are not always supermodels.
Depending on your skills and your reputation, one night as a gigolo can net you a wide range of fees, from a couple hundred dollars into the thousands. Check your Yellow Pages under "Escorts" or go solo and see what the competition is up to on Gigolo.com.
eye for an income
The point? You don't need the purest of motives to sell your body for cash, but every so often, they might help.
how much money did you make a week? or a month?
ReplyDeleteyou can expect to make up to $100 per visit, and they allow you to donate up to 3 times a week. That means you could potentially earn $300 a week / $$1200 a month.
Deletei m ready to sell my sperm ring me at_9864066556
DeleteHi just want to sell also my sperm, you can email me the deatails, john_19a@yahoo.com
Delete